Book Summary - How To Win Friends and Influence People (Part 3 of 4)

C.   Closing the Deal

• Get the other person saying "yes, yes" as soon as possible.



• Emphasize things all parties already agree on.


• As Socrates suggested, win one concession after another until, without realizing it, your opponent is forced to agree to a position that would have otherwise been fiercely rejected.


• In today’s information dense environment, we actively seek to reject proposals and information. Getting others to say yes immediately drives momentum in the direction of acceptance.

• Dramatize your ideas.



• It helps to make a visual, visceral demonstration of your ideas:



• When presenting a competitive assessment of MP3 players, bring the competitors’ products to your meeting.


• When selling an anti-theft devices for cars, a dramatic video demonstrating the experience of getting one's car stolen will help sales.

• Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.



• People are more committed to their own ideas. 


• Make suggestions and let others come to the desired conclusions.


• It may be in your best interest not to claim any credit.

• Appeal to the nobler motives.



• People often have multuple reasons for doing something. At least one will sound good as an external justification. The real reasons may often be hidden. Appeal to the one that sounds good.


• Example: As a tenant gives notice that he is preparing to break his lease, his landlord praises the tenant’s good character. The landlord insists the tenant is a man of his word and will live up to the terms of the lease he signed.


• Example 2: A celebrity wanted to avoid having an unflattering photo published. He asked the paper who owned the photo not to publish it, as his mother disliked the picture.

• Throw down a challenge.



• Stimulate competition among co-workers.


• Challenge someone’s capabilities/self-perceptions.



• To a body builder: “Is he strong enough to get the job done?”


• To help persuade a job applicant to take the job “This job will require someone really motivated to succeed, it isn’t a position for everyone.”